City of a Thousand Dolls Audiobook Review

Audiobook: City of a Thousand Dolls by Miriam Foster
Read by: Shannon McManus
Genre: YA Fantasy

I was looking for adventure, and this book seemed to have a lot of action and a kick-ass girl. So, I rented it.

Not so much kick ass.

Set in a fantasy Asian/Indian place, the City of a Thousand Dolls is a large orphanage complex that takes in unwanted girls, of which there are many, thanks to a strict two-child law. The city trains the girls in several different disciples and sells them off (as wives, courtesans or apprentices) when they turn 16. Nisha, is the head Matron's personal assistant ... with a secret past.

Sounds pretty good but Nisha isn't not much of a heroine. She's muddled and, other than talking to cats, has no special skills. She's described as Matron's informant, but she doesn't really know that much about the city, at all. When a few murders happen, Matron asks Nisha to look into it -- a pointless task, as she only talks to five girls and one of them happens to be the killer. Done.

To make matters worse, there's a scene at the end were all the stories untangle and is witnessed by the Prince and about 100 other people. It was the longest scene in the book and all I kept wondering was "how were all the people STILL standing there listening to all this expletive." Boring.

The only upside was the narrator read the book in a hurry. And when the story went stale, I was okay with rushing through it.

Grade: Yellow Light

'Chasing the Sun' Audiobook Review

Audiobook: Chasing the Sun by Tracie Peterson
Read by: Renee Raudman
Genre: Historical Romance

Something about the cover appealed to me. (Look at it, it's gorgeous!) And it sounded like a solid romance based on a Civil War-era Texan ranch, so I didn't think I could go wrong.

And I didn't. It was just the right, light romance I was looking for.

First, let's get this out of the way. I didn't realize until several chapters in this was Christian Lit. While I admire people of faith, I am not a textbook Christian. But I have almost no issues reading stories with religious undertones, to me it's a kind of fantasy. I mean, I read books all the time with different belief systems (ruling dragons, fairy queens, sun gods, etc.), so I can certainly deal with a main character who is motivated by her belief in a son of God delivering life ever after. As long as I am not being preached to follow the character's belief systems, or there is no tolerance for other beliefs, I can usually get through any kind of faith-based story.

And that's true here. The toe-curling romance, my interest in this era of "fine" manners and life on the range (cowboys! Indians! Longhorns!) certainly overshadowed any "God made me do it" explanations. It was just part of the weave of the story.

But the best part is the narrator, Renee Raudman, also read all of the Gallagher Girls books. And although her Spanish accent is horrendous, it was great to hear her voice again.

Overall, Hannah and William's Texan love story is pretty satisfying. Though, another warning, this is a series so the ending is a little too quick and open-ended.

Grade: Green Light

'Skinny Dip' Audiobook Review

Audiobook: Skinny Dip by Carl Hiaason
Read by: Barry Bostwick
Genre: Adult Lit, Rom Com

I've always admired Carl Hiaason's breezy, south-Florida style and reputation, but I haven't read too much of his work. Given that it's summer, this seemed like a good beach read -- with possibly a love story, so I picked it up.

It was breezy -- but a little heavy on a few points.

It's a story about a girl, Joey, who is pushed overboard by her stupid husband, Chaz. She's saved by Mick and together they create a plan to avenge the stupid husband and, in doing so, fall in love. At least, that's my take on it. But, actually, this book is really about is the plight of the Everglades.

Don't get me wrong, I'm all for saving the Everglades. I've never seen them, but I'm sure it's beautiful and obviously well-worth saving. But you should know that a huge amount of this book is spent lamenting the misuse of the land, heartless builders destroying the sanctity of the environment and so on. The plot lines are really just catering to the educational message. (I get it. Where do I send my donation check?)

Also, this story had about six endings. I don't actually know how it ends because after the sixth ending, when I was absolutely sure there couldn't possibly be any further resolution, I started skimming the CD. And was startled that I skipped through several more chapters before I hit the end. For a brief moment, I thought of doubling back and listening to the "other" endings, but decided I was satisfied with MY ending. Justice was serviced, the end.

Overall, it had all the humor of a classic Hiaason, but was a Save the Everglades propaganda pamphlet (not that it's a BAD thing) with a sugary little caper wrapped around it.  

Grade: Green Light

'Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns)' Audiobook Review

Audiobook:  Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns) by Mindy Kaling
Ready by: Mindy Kaling
Genre: Comic Essays, Memoir

I don't normally do memoirs or these collection of comic essays but after reading Tina Fey's book, which I found laugh-out-loud funny, I took a chance.

With very little payoff.

On the good side, it's short. Only about 4 discs that I got through quickly. Mindy's essays are quick, many in list form, and you get a very vague and abstract sense of her life, her career and her obsession with having health benefits. And she's really riding off her new-found fame, name-checking her cool friends and showcasing her very single-girl-in-the-city conversational style. ("Be cool, okay?")

If you watch her show, The Mindy Project, you'll hear a lot of the same material that is in this book; she loves rom coms, wants to be happily married with kids, doesn't believe in one-night-stands. But because she's reading it herself, you get to hear her intention behind sentences (sarcasm!) and her famous pals come on to read a few lines, too.

Overall, not many laugh-out-loud moments, as I was hoping. I nodded a few times in agreement. And enjoyed her diatribe on the modern-day romantic comedy and where did that genre go. But, in the end, it made me think I was just a weekend of solitude away from producing my own book of humorous essays about my own life -- and thinking they would be just as funny, or maybe funnier. And thinking "this is easy," is a good indication that the book wasn't so great.

Grade: Yellow Light

'Airborn' Audiobook Review

Audiobook: 'Airborn' by Kenneth Oppel
Read by: Full Cast
Genre: YA Lit, Steampunk

This was a bit of an unconventional choice for me -- mostly because it was a high-seas action (boy) book with zero chance of kissing, but I was tempted anyway because it sounded so much like the Leviathan, the steampunk trilogy I read a few years ago. And I was in the mood for an adventure.

Happy I tried it out, as this book was filled with excellent high-seas adventure. And I liked the full-cast performance (it was the first I'd come across) -- it really elevated my enjoyment of the story and the characters.

Matt Cruise is a cabin boy on an airship called the Aurora. In steampunk fashion, it's a Victorian-era ship (zeppelin) that flies the Pacificus to exotic ports of call. Matt meets Kate, a bold heiress and budding scientist out to prove her grandfather had found something extraordinary before he died. Matt joins her crusade -- amid pirates and shipwrecks.

Matt is certainly a worthy and noble hero who saves the day -- again and again. And his kind Captain Walken, with his booming voice, was one of my absolute favorites. The scenes with Chef Vlad, and his crazy accent, were my favorite. And the pirates were good baddies. All together, a very dramatic performance and fantastic to listen to.

And, yes, there was a kiss. Two, actually. Yay!

Grade: Green light

'Requiem' Audiobook Review

Audiobook: Requiem by Lauren Oliver
Read by: Sarah Drew
Genre: YA Dystopia

This is the third book of the Delirium trilogy. I had to rush out the library to get it right when I finished the second. And was so excited to see the audiobook waiting for me on the shelves that I nearly yelped.

And no, it wasn't the ending I was hoping for. It was a bit disappointing, actually. Is there any hope for a fourth book at all?

When I think of the word "requiem," I think of ending and death. This story had no ending. In fact, it felt more like a middle book in a series rather than a finale. It didn't pick up steam until the final quarter of the story, otherwise, it was just a lot of walking around and Lena wavering back and forth over which guy she actually loved. Good boy Julian, who's very shallow or Alex, who is dark, deep and mysterious -- I mean, Lena, is there actually a choice here? Wake up!

Big props to Sarah Drew whose voice continues to mesmerize me, even when the story lost its direction.

Overall, it's not a complete bust of a trilogy. it had all my favorite dystopia elements and I felt a faint optimism at the end, but not enough to feel satisfied. Seriously, a fourth? Please?

Grade: Yellow Light

Agnes and the Hitman Audiobook Review

Audiobook: Agnes and the Hitman by Jennifer Crusie and Bob Mayer
Read By: Sandra Burr
Genre: Romantic Comedy

Full disclosure: I read romance novels. Another disclosure: I've read this book, twice. But when I saw it on the shelf, and taking into consideration it's summer and I'm looking for something light, I grabbed it.

And I was glad to find the story I liked translated well into audio format, forgiving a few corny production tricks.

This is a cute story about Agnes, a cranky food column writer with anger management issues who gets tangled in a 25-year-old murder mystery and a really crazy ex-mob wife. A nephew of a friend, who is a contract killer, comes by to protect her and get to the bottom of things. Romance, and a pretty high body count, follows.

Because there's a strange combo of Southern drawl and New Jersey mobster in this book, the reader had to be pretty proficient at a bunch of different accents. And she was good. There's some strange talking-into-a-tin-can effect for internal monologe that I found annoying. But, that's easy to get over once you get into the story.

Overall, it was fun to revisit this charming little tale of Agnes and her knight in shining armor.

Grade: Greenlight

Pandemonium Audiobook Review

Audiobook: Pandemonium by Lauren Oliver
Read by: Sarah Drew
Genre: YA Lit, Dystopia

This is the sequel to Delirium, a dystopian novel that supposes the future, fractured U.S.A has deemed love a virus and are curing the population of it. (My Delirium review here.) That takes away choice, freedom and passion. Lena, the main character, is all about this cure until she meets Alex and realizes she can't live like a loveless zombie. So she runs.

I couldn't help wonder what will become of Lena after she crosses into the "wilds," so I picked up the second audiobook. Now, I've got to pick up the third book. Like now.

Usually, the second book in a trilogy is dullsville. It's a bridge from one action book to the epic finish in the third. There's lots of internal development, as the character gets to the place mentally to take on the crazy stuff in the third book. But this second book was actually good!

We get new characters, "Then" and "Now" storytelling that keeps things moving and lots of good action. Even the time Lean spends in a cell isn't boring. It's all built around revolution and movement and Lena figuring things out a few steps too late. Poor dumb Lena.

One thing I couldn't help but wonder -- so the Wilds is a place where people won't be cured of the love virus and are thus free to love openly. So you'd think there would be a lot of couples, relationship and kissing everywhere. There's not. The groups Lena hangs out with are just a bunch of single people cohabiting. Maybe because it's a book for teens or perhaps Lena doesn't find those kinds of camps. Or maybe I'm making too many hippie commune comparisons. Still it strikes me as odd that there's no free love everywhere with the "uncureds."

Regardless, I all but ran to the library to pick up the third. Because the last delivered line "don't listen to her, she lies" killed me.

Grade: Green Light

Eleanor and Park Audiobook Review

Audiobook: Eleanor and Park by Rainbow Rowell
Read by: Rebecca Lowman, Sunil Malhotra
Genre: YA Lit

I've read a few reviews about this book and though it didn't sound like my normal cup of tea, it still seemed enticing. 

Well, I didn't make it past the first disc.

Here's the thing about me: I like to escape into books and if those books turn too dark, it spills into my real life and I get moody. And this book was hinting at some bad things to come, so I returned the audiobook after one disc.

So, I'm sure it's great -- raw and emotional. And great for adults who grew up in the 80s and love nostalgia.  But not for me.

Grade: Red Light

'Austenland' Audiobook Review

Audiobook: Austenland by Shannon Hale
Ready by: Katherine Kellgren
Genre: Chick Lit

While strolling the shelves at the library, this audiobooks was sticking out a little and I remembered I had read they made this into a movie coming out this summer with Felicity, er, Keri Russell -- and that was all it took. Popped it into my bag.

Kinda wished I hadn't.

The idea is super. A women is so completely caught up in Mr. Darcy that no other man will ever stack up. So, her eccentric great-aunt bequeathes her a trip to the English countryside and a manor that recreates the Regency era, as a kind of therapy.

I'm a Darcy-lovin'-gal myself, so I can get into this. And the manor is crawling with actors roll-playing to help "guests" believe they are in "Pride and Prejudice" or "Emma." But poor, pathetic Jane Hayes, cast as Ms. Jane Erstwhile niece to the residents of the Park, has a hard time relaxing into her role. It's all too fake. And it all really is.

I didn't like how this story was told in first person -- all from Jane's limited point of view. All the fakery would be more fun if Hale had shared the story telling honors. Taking turns with the residents and the guests. The minor twist at the end isn't worth sitting through hours of Jane's psychosis. And every few chapters we're interrupted by an study of each of Jane's past, failed romances. And it's jarring and a lazy story telling gimmick.

Lastly, I get annoyed when Brits try to write American, and vise versa. There's these little cultural difference you can't nail. And in this book, I could have sworn the author was British, because of some of the phrasing. She's from Utah. So my annoyance must stem from the narrator who was British and did a crumby American accent. All fake.

I hope they handle the material in a much better way for the Austenland movie. And cut the far-too-drawn-out ending down to size. One can hope!

Grade: Yellow Light

'Delirium' Audiobook Review

Audiobook: Delirium by Lauren Conrad
Read by: Sarah Drew
Genre: YA Lit, Dystopia

So the plot sounds a little fantastical: A future world where love is a horrible virus. When you turn 18, you're given a cure -- a seemingly "gentle" lobotomy that makes you immune to feeling love and all that comes with it -- passion, intense joy, etc. You're paired, married and asked to procreate and "care" for the children you have no capacity to love.

Kinda crazy, right? Love cure? Gimme a break. That's nuts. Why would anyone want to surpress that. Love is all you need, right? I couldn't help investigate. And so glad I did.

The story is about Lena, who is just weeks away from having the cure when she meets Alex and becomes "infected" with the love virus. But she now understands a world without love sucks. She isn't a radical, but she's willing to give up everything to be with Alex in the "Wilds" -- the place outside the city boundaries where the "uncured" might live. Let's just say, it doesn't go well.

Like most great dystopian books, there's a reworking of our current society that makes you question just how crazy this is. Would the government go to lengths to deaden our passions? Hmmm. And there's tons of action that kept me popping that next CD into my car.

Sarah Drew, the narrator, is an actress I remembered from the TV show Everwood. And she's fantastic. She yells and whispers and attempts Alex's low mumbles. I want to call her and chat with her so she can share even the most boring details in her rough yet tender voice. Seriously, call me!

Here's what I didn't like: The entire book is in Lena's head and that gets tiring. Her romance with Alex -- sweet perfect Alex -- is tainted with her confusion and uncertainty. It's like a friend telling you a really good story, but not taking in account any other perspectives, selfishly rambling on and sometimes you just have to turn her off for awhile.

The best part, like most good dystopian, is this book is a trilogy. So, I'll be back at the library next weekend to pick up the next book in the series.

Grade: Green Light

'Anne of Avonlea' Audiobook Review

Audiobook: Anne of Avonlea by Lucy Maude Montgomery
Read by: Shelly Frasier
Genre: Classic

I think it is (or should be) universally acknowledged that if you're feeling stressed or that the world is spinning too fast and you've grown so out of touch with patience or goodness -- the best solution is Anne Shirley. I completely believe in her powers to heal. So it's after an especially hectic week with out-of-control kids and clients that I picked up this audiobook from the library.

And in the end of it, I felt more centered and at ease -- and yearning for the time when we walked to school through the woods and had tea with neighbors.

This is the second book in the Anne series. It centers around the two years she teaches at the Avonlea school. As usual, she gets into jams, scrapes and meets kindred spirits. She's a founding member of the Avonlea improvement society, which is a popular trend among the young folk. And she helps out when Marilla adopts twin 6-year-olds.

There's not much more I can or need to say about this one. If you're a fan, you know what I mean. Just the vacation feeling of going up to Prince Edward Island for a few days, experiencing the rambles and gardens. Hearing the latest gossip from Mrs. Lind. It's like a spa day in book form.

Grade: Green Light

'Eiffel's Tower' Audiobook Review

Audiobook: Eiffel's Tower: And the World's Fair Where Buffalo Bill Beguiled Paris, the Artists Quarreled, and Thomas Edison Became a Count by Jill Jonnes
Read by: Paul Hecht
Genre: Historical Nonfiction

With an upcoming trip to Paris, I was very excited to see this book at the library. Since my last (and first) trip to Paris, I've been collecting little Eiffel Towers trinkets, so learning more about its origins was enticing.

And what a great story! Even though it's a historical account of the 1889 Paris World's Fair and all its principal players, it's written more like a great work fiction.

The ambitious vision of Gustave Eiffel and this enormous undertaking -- to build an iron structure at such a miraculous height -- is inspiring. And he was a pretty decent guy, too. Then you have the story of Buffalo Bill Cody and his troupe of cowboys, Indians, horses, buffalo setting up camp on the outskirts of Paris and dazzling European audiences -- especially star Annie Oakley. Add to it the story of painters Gauguin and Van Gogh looking to make a big splash on the world stage. And Thomas Edison, the toast of the town for his inventions. All so amazing!

My favorite character was American newspaper publisher James Gordon Bennett Jr of the New York Herald. He managed his great New York newspaper and staff from a stylish flat in Paris, mostly by ruling with fear. He was infamous for his erratic behavior, firing reporters for almost no reason and keeping his staff on their toes. He spent large amounts of money on foreign correspondents, created a successful Paris version of the Herald and was often surrounded by a group of tiny dogs. What a character!

This book was chalk-full of interesting anecdotes and stories. And I really got a good sense of what a visitor to the great Paris Exposition fair grounds would have experienced -- including a ride up the famed Eiffel Tower.

The narrator was great, using accents -- French, British and American -- to tell the different point of views, as the story followed chronologically from the planning stages of the Exposition to its final days and years afterwards. 

The best part is I'll have lots of fun stories to bore my husband with as we stroll the Champs de Mars in a few weeks. 

Grade: Green Light

'Days of Blood and Starlight' Audiobook Review

Audiobook: Days of Blood and Starlight by Laini Taylor
Read by: Khristine Hvam
Genre: YA Lit

Ok. I was walking through the YA section at the library and nearly fell over when I saw this audiobook. It's a pretty new book. A book that I bought not too many weeks ago and have been too busy to start. A book I have been waiting and waiting for since finishing Daughter of Smoke and Bone. I got it, of course, but it felt like cheating. Like I should be READING the book, for real.

I got over that pretty quickly, as I fell back into Karou and her situation and powerful mix of emotions. In a sentence: this audiobook was ammmmazing.

With Laini Taylor, you don't so much "read" her books, as you're pulled under the spell of her words, her characters and her world. It's big. It's deep. It's a rollercoaster ride of action and emotions.

I'm not sure I can summarize this story easily or without spoilers, as it's the sequel and so much happened in that first book. Karou is a human with blue hair who moves between two worlds, our human world and one made of beasts called Chimera and Angels. And they have been at war for thousands of years. Enter the Romeo and Juliet story; Karou (is kinda Chimera) falls in love with an Angel named Akiva. And all hell breaks lose.

Like any second book, there is a lot of set up in this story -- they build armies and alliances, get revenge, feelings grow, tension mounts -- and nothing will pan out until the next book when the battle really begins. But there's certainly enough action and plotting. And Karou continues to mature and kick butt. She's no longer nieve and with so much knowledge, she's bubbling with longing, regret and the need to set things right. Sure, there's a lot of repetition, it's Taylors way of reminding you what's important.

The reader Khristine Hvam is super, too. She's great at all the voices, especially the Czch accent of Zuzana and Mik. And though it was a 12-disc audiobook, time went quickly by in my car.

The last chapter blew my mind! And the third book isn't due until next year ... at the earliest! So, I'm in for a long wait. Worth it, though. Oh so worth it.

Grade: Green Light!

'French Women for All Season' Audiobook Review

Audiobook: French Women for All Seasons by Mireille Guiliano
Read by: Mireille Guiliano
Genre: Memoir / Self-help

I'll admit it. After finishing French Women Don't Get Fat I missed Mireille's common sense wisdom, anecdotes about growing up in the French countryside and her accent. So, I was delighted to find my little library had her sequel.

Listening to her thoughts about eating in season and for pleasure was such a relaxing way to spend my commute.

Sure, some of her advice is a little crazy or not at all based in reality. Her most outlandish story is about savoring one banana. Eating it for dessert ... on a dainty plate ... with a knife and fork ... and being too full/satisfied to eat the whole thing. So the second half goes into the fridge for later. Huh?

And I do so wish I had a weekly farmer's market to go to, packed with goodies from a large assortment of farms. I don't. And certainly not in walking or peddling distance. But I do agree with her about eating seasonally and locally. And I'm really trying to cultivate my eating pleasures and compensating when I've over indulged. Really! I'm trying!

Awww, Mireille! I miss her already.

Grade: Green Light

'King Dork' Audiobook Review

Audiobook: King Dork by Frank Portman
Ready by: Lincoln Hoppe
Genre: YA Lit

A few years ago I read Andromeda Klein, and while I ended up skimming much of the first half of the book, looney Andromeda stuck with me. She was this great mix of brash punk and sweet innocence. King Dork came before, so I was always curious about it. When I found it on the shelf, I hoped I'd find another Andromeda.

I found Tom, a dork with dreams of being in a rock band and a rampant imagination with a very exciting sophomore year to tell me about. And a pretty good story to boot.

The book description talks a lot about finding Catcher in the Rye among his dead dad's things as a major plot point. I didn't think so. It was the whole library that changed everything. And I loved all the band names Tom and his one friend would come up with. Names that included first album titles, credits and song. Also, Tom hates The Doors, which I quite agree with.

The one problem with this audiobook is Tom would trail off into wild, imaginative tangents -- so if I got distracted by merging traffic or what I was making for dinner, I'd be confused as to why Tom can suddenly fly or was being chased by KGB spies. An editor could have been a little more diligent with the red pen.

The narrator, Lincoln Hoppe, had a great voice that captured Tom's wryness and sarcasm. And it was a male voice which, up until now, I thought I had problems listening to. Must have been just some male voices that bug me. 

Grade: Green Light

'The Undomestic Goddess' Audiobook Review

Audiobook: The Undomestic Goddess by Sophie Kinsella
Ready by: Rosalyn Launder
Genre: Chick Lit

Occasionally I like to read about adults -- take a break from the teens and find out what my own demographic is up to. Sophia Kinsella is a well-liked "chick-lit" author so I browsed her section at the library last week and pulled the one that sounded the most likeable.

What was I thinking!?

My absolute most loathsome, pet-peevish plot device is creating a web of lies. Samantha, the main character here, bumbles into a housekeeper job interviews and, thanks to a rather powerful narcotic, gets the job – even though she’s actually a workaholic city lawyer. When she realizes it the next day, instead of coming clean, she keeps up the charade. Lie and lie builds up until I wonder how dumb any of these people can be. And how low can Samantha go?

And this was just after the first disc.

Like I do with any book I'm not into but feel invested enough (and for me, it doesn't take much) to find out what happens to the protagonist in the end -- I skimmed. I listened to odd number discs and forwarded haphazardly. I stumbled upon the first-kiss scene and was able to keep up with the gist of the plot. Then, I listened to the last disc (I think there were 11 in total) and felt she got a much better deal than she deserved.

As for me, I learned my lesson and will be sticking to nieve teens and nonfiction, for now.

Grade: Red Light 

'Made By Hand' Audiobook Review

Audiobook: Made by Hand: Searching for Meaning in a Throwaway World by Mark Frauenfelder
Ready by: Kirby Heyborne
Genre: Memoir/How To

I'm all for making by hand, so I thought this audiobook might be stuffed with fun ideas and tips.

Nope. It wasn't bad but without illustrations, it was hard to follow what was being talked about. Clearly, it's aimed at geeky men who like to tweak their iPods and soup-up hybrid cars. I do not fall in this category.

I might even question the wisdom of such a book to BE in audio, at all. I can't imagine building a guitar using a cigar box without some visual cues.

Grade: Red Light

This Week's Library Stash

So, most weekends I end up at the library getting a stack of audiobooks for the week ahead. Some are so bad, I don't even mention them on this blog. Hoping this is a good batch! There's snow in the forecast, so I could be doubling my commute time. Again.

Notice the New French Theme?!

'The Whole-Brain Child' Audiobook Review

Audiobook: The Whole Brain Child by Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson
Read by: Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson
Genre: Parenting

I'm a parent, so I'm always on the lookout for some advice on how to raise well-adjusted (eg. not live in my basement) adults. My library has a small selection of parenting guides on audiobook and not many of them sound very appealing. This one did, so I nabbed it ... hoping by the end I'd be a better Mama.

I got some good advice for dealing with meltdowns and crisises -- but this book isn't about how to get them to eat their vegetables.

It feels like my kids meltdown more than others. But I'm sure all mothers feel that way. This book explores how to give your child the tools to deal with their "waves of emotion" by understanding the fundamentals on how the brain works.

And, really, that's where the fun of this book lies. You get to go over all the facts you probably forgot from your senior-level biology class. This is your brain. There is a right side and left side. Normally, you're floating down the middle of the two sides of your brain and everything is in harmony. When kid nears tantrum their boat has drifted to the emotional side and is stuck.  This book gives you tips on how to help your little time bomb steer their brain canoe back on course, thereby helping them deal with a lifetime of stressers.

Since the listening to the audiobook, which wasn't hard to follow and had a lot of examples (the authors are parents, too), I've tried the techniques on my own kids. Some days they work, others... not so much. But the logic of the methodology appealed to me, so I'll continue to try. In fact, I purchased the paperback to have something to refer to in the future. What this book lacks is dealing with non-crisis moments; like how to get them to eat their carrots and mind their manners. Maybe there's a second book coming.

Grade: Green Light

'Rebel Angels' Audiobook Review

Audiobook: Rebel Angels by Libba Bray
Read by: Josephine Bailey
Genre: YA Lit

I read the first book in this series called A Great and Terrible Beauty a few years ago. It was a little too Victorian paranormal dramatic for me, but it was kinda entertaining. And Libba is such a YA author celebrity, so when I saw Rebel Angels, the second book, I had to see what it was all about.

I wasn't disappointed and might even consider listening to the third and final book of the trilogy.

This series is difficult to summarize. Jemma was the new girl at a boarding school who discovers a secret society of sorceress that her late-mother was once a member. They are caretakers for a dreamy land, like purgatory, where people pass through when they die. This land is filled with magic and dangers and strange creatures. See? I little tough to explain. Oh! And Jemma has nasty visions. And one of her best friends died and is stuck in that realm.

It's definitely more exciting that how I'm explaining it. This book is mostly about the other group of people who want to take control of the realm and all its magic for themselves. And Jemma fighting back against them. She and her friends move the fight from the gray backdrop of December in England to the technicolor beauty of the realms. And there's no stop to the action.

The real advantage was the reader, Josephine Bailey, who gave this book more life than I could have reading it myself. She used theatrical voices, deep Victorian accents and more to make each character vivid and distinct. The more I listen to audiobooks, the more I find there are books I'd like prefer to listen to, and this was certainly one of them. As a book, I might have skimmed -- but as an audiobook, I drank it up.

Grade: Green Light

'French Women Don't Get Fat' Audiobook Review

Audiobook: French Women Don't Get Fat by Mireille Guiliano
Read By: Mireille Guiliano
Genre: Diet / Memoir

I've already mentioned my Francophile-ness. And a place where women eat bread, cheese and yogurt and manage to stay thin is someplace I want to be. Plus, it's the new year, so it's time to examine my diet. I checked it out.

This book is half diet tips and half memoir. The harrowing tale of teenage Mireille who spends a year in a Boston suburb eating brownies, gains 20lbs and is told by her father "you look like a sack of potatoes" when she gets off the boat. The family doctor, known as Dr. Miracle, puts her on a diet (leek soup!) and explains to her the habits most French women have cultivated to stay slim -- despite all the bread and cheese. Oui!

Then, the time-worn secrets of French women are revealed in chapters of tips and practical stories. Most are common sense, some are just great to consider or be reminded of, including: all things in moderation, eat real food, keep track of your pleasures and compensate for them, and being active.

The main theory is centered around the concept that French women spend time thinking about their next fresh, delicious meal -- good food is a passion. While American women obsess over food they can't eat and eating meals that are quick, nearby and warm. Taste or quality? No time. It's a theory I believe is mostly true. It's not easy to get fresh, quality produce and we are less equipped to cook it given our busy schedules and low confidence in the kitchen. (Or am I just speaking for myself?)

Mireille lives in New York and Paris -- so her tips are more appropriate for city gals. She talks about the fresh market in Union Square, walking to work and taking the stairs in her apartment building. Suburban girls are on our own to figure out parallels.

The audiobook is read by Mireille in a charming French accent that I enjoyed mimicking on my drive. She's talked to many women about her dieting tips, views on life and passions -- and she's very good at it, persuasive. I'd like to turn her on every few months and be reminded to eat more like a French women.

Grade: Green Light

'Cleaving' Audiobook Review

Audiobook: Cleaving by Julie Powell
Read by: Julie Powell
Genre: Memoir

I listened to Julie & Julia and utterly enjoyed Julie's journey and honesty (and, yes, her creative use of curse words). So I picked up Cleaving, preparing myself for sickening descriptions of butchering. I was NOT prepared (and this isn’t a spoiler) that she’s cheating on her husband. (!) That sweet man who got her blogging and changed her life. Honestly, it took me days to overcome feelings of betrayal. Julie!! Julie!! Why!!

 But once I did, the audiobook went like this: 

Part 1: Where Julie learns the art of butchering, which conveniently lends itself to about 200 metaphors of heartbreak, breakups and separating from your husband and lover. “Sometimes separating meat from bone isn't clean, you leave a lot of meat destroyed” (I paraphrased). At first I was like, "Cleaving"! I get it! Then, she started to hit me over the head with it, like maybe we didn’t pick up on the analogies. I get it, Julie. Geez. 

Part 2: Where Julie wanders around the world and loses focus. “What was this memoir about?” She’s in Argentina eating alone in restaurants, watching the first snowfall.  She's in Ukraine with a 22-year-old girl hitching a ride with a man who makes sausages. And in Tanzania drinking blood and getting accosted by a large cook. All while pining for sweet Eric and dirty D. There is some butchering, she sees animals killed and cut up. But really, it’s just a lesson in you can’t run away from some problems. 

Part 3: Where Julie goes home and realizes that everything is still pretty much the same, except maybe her outlook. And she has to come to terms with it and get over it.

Overall, Part 1 and 3 were a candid journey of self-discovery and knowing thy self. Part 2 (the actual journey) I could have done without. 

Grade: Greenlight

'Blood, Bones and Butter' Audiobook Review

Audiobook: Blood, Bones and Butter: The Inadvertent Education of a Reluctant Chef by Gabrielle Hamilton
Read by: Gabrielle Hamilton
Genre: Memoir

I was turned off by "blood" in the title, but the subhead made me wonder "what made her so reluctant?" And who wouldn't want to get some insider tips from a recognized chef. So, I checked it out.

I never got my answer about the "reluctant" part, but enjoyed hearing about Gabrielle's twisty-turny life very much. And the blood was minimal.

Gabrielle runs a pretty successful small restaurant in the East Village and has for several years. The restuarant business in NYC is cut-throat, so anyone who manages to stay open and profitable in that business, has my admiration. And her journey to Prune includes underaged waitressing (drugs), line-cooking, high-society catering and even chefing at an upstate camp.

So what I didn't understand is how Gabrielle considered herself reluctant. She's in a kitchen or restaurant starting at 14, when she's left to fend for herself after her parent's divorced. If she was so reluctant, she should have taken up teaching math or selling shoes. 

The Italian husband was a storyline I wasn't expecting, but one I enjoyed following. The chapters in Italy visiting family were rich with flavor.

The book is read by Gabrielle and, while her voice stays in this clear, this-is-how-it-went-down directness, it was missing some natural inflection. Even books read by actors show some emotion. But Gabrielle is utterly unapologetic, even when relying some dark days. And her impression of her husband deep Italian accent is comic.

Grade: Greenlight

'Endymion Spring' Audiobook Review

Audiobook: Endymion Spring by Matthew Skelton
Read by: Richard Easton
Genre: YA Fantasy

After the love I had for Seraphina, I thought I'd try another YA Fantasy novel. And this one I'd seen a few times on the shelves, with an intriguing cover of the entwined snakes. Try it!

I got about half way into the discs and decided life was too short for a boring fantasy. And turned it off.

The book was told in two eras; One from present day Oxford and one in medieval Germany. The story is about a secret book and made of magic paper. It was technically well-written, slow and little hard to follow in parts ... and full of things that bugged the crap out of me.

First, the boy in Oxford, Blake -- no idea how old he was. None. I thought it might be part of the mystery, but the longer I waited for that little fact, the more annoyed I got. The difference between a 14-year-old and a 10-year-old is too great to try figure out for half the book (with no hints). And the author was obviously English, but didn't take into account cultural differences for his American main characters. For example, Americans don't use the word "torch" -- it's a "flashlight." This happened, a lot.

And last -- and this is turning into a real problem for me -- I didn't like the gruff male voice telling the story. And, looking back, I realize I haven't liked one book from a male reader.

Grade: Yellow Light

'The Anglo Files: A Field Guide to the British' Audiobook Review

Audiobook: The Anglo Files: A Field Guide to the British by Sarah Lyall
Read by: Cassandra Campbell
Genre: Memoir (Cultural Anthropology?)

My first love is British culture, from Mr. Darcy, Lucy Honeychurch and Prince William and Jamie Oliver. I love British literature, culture and lifestyle. London is one of my favorite cities and I used to dream about marrying a man with a British accent. So this book's little dive into British-isms sounded like fun -- a good way to indulge my anglo-love.

Not so much! It was such a nasty look into this group of people I turned it off after disc two so I'd be able to watch Downton Abbey without wincing!

The author, a journalist married to Brit and now living in London, is clearly unimpressed by the British way of life and its people. In fact, I'd say she hates them. I'm not even sure why she's married to one.

I only got through a few chapters which included demystifying sex (Brit men are bad in bed because they were harassed by their male prep school teachers), politics (all women-hating, foul-mouthed drunks) and drinking (the way to meet your soulmate is to be completely blitzed at a pub) -- wow. She's inspecting the people around her like something she found on her shoe. I turned it off. Too mean.

Grade: Red Light

'The Heights' Audiobook Review

Audiobook: The Heights by Peter Hedges
Ready by: Peter Hedges, Amy Ryan and Alison Pill
Genre: Lit

I have had this book in my To Read pile (on my Kindle) for the last year. I've been a fan of Peter Hedges since What's Eating Gilbert Grape, so I'm usually looking out for what he's doing next.

I don't often read "adult" lit. I usually find it too melodramatic and predictable. And, I found that to be true of this book, as well.

Tim and Kate are no different than a lot of people I know, but they're just so stupid, they can't see what they have. And when they do have an enlightened moment about the good in their lives, they're completely OK with chucking it all for someone in skinny jeans and an expensive haircut. It's likely why I hardly read about people in my own demographic -- we're stupid. Anyway, this book goes along just as you'd expect it. And ends they way you'd think.

And, yes, I did yell at the characters from the driver's seat. Tim mostly. What an idiot.

On the plus side, I really enjoyed Alison Pill reading crazy Bea's chapters. Her intensity (she's completely obsessed with Tim) really captured her unhinged-ness. Amy Ryan was pretty great, too.

Grade: Yellow Light

'Enchanted' Audiobook Review

Audiobook: Enchanted by Alethea Kontis
Ready by: Katherine Kellgren
Genre: YA Fantasy

So after a few nonfictions, I was looking to delve into something fantastical. I heard nothing about this book but the cover and blurb were intriguing and since it's from the library, I have nothing to lose if it's a total dud.

This lovely cover undersells the delightful and silly story within.

Enchanted is a mashups of fairytales you're already familiar with. Sunday lives with her big family in a home that was once a tall-tall tower and now resembles more of a shoe. She's the seventh daughter of a seventh daughter -- which makes her fate magical. She meets a frog in the woods one day, who was charmed by his godmother. She kisses him. Twice. Madness -- that includes charms, beanstalks, cinders, a missing shoe and more -- follows. It's a dizzying ride that had a lot of heart.

This audiobook is performed (rather than just read) by Katherine Kellgren, with a sweet British accent and plenty of feeling and inflection. I enjoyed her voice so much that I'm starting to wonder how much the voice has to do with my overall opinion of the story. Would I have liked this book as much if I had read it on my own? Hmm.

Grade: Green Light

'The Difference' Audiobook Review

Audiobook: The Difference by Jean Chatzky
Read by: Jean Chatzky
Genre: Self Help

Perky and smart, I've seen Jean Chatzky on the Today Show a bunch of times but I'd never bought her books. But, I could use some financial tips and, sure, I'd like to be a millionaire, so I pulled this one off the shelf. I figured, if even 1/4 of this information gets through my thick, numbers-deficient brain, it would be a win.

What I got was some good advice not all about money.

The Difference, Jean states in her clear, positive voice, isn't about being born with a trust fund or knowing your way around Wall Street (although those things certainly help), it's a state of mind. Your attitude. She sent a questionnaire to a bunch of people, including millionaires, and mined some common themes.

Interestingly, luck plays no part in financial wealth. In fact, Jean found the more you believed in luck, the less likely you were to be rich. Rich people believe they had some luck, yes, but earned what they have. Wealthy folks also sleep less.

So I didn't learn all there is about saving and spending money, but I liked the advice I got and thinking about my financial future during my commutes wasn't a bad use of time.

Grade: Greenlight

'Seraphina' Audiobook Review

Audiobook: Seraphina by Rachel Hartman
Read by: Justine Eyre
Genre: YA Lit

Dragon fantasies are often a stretch for me, but I do enjoy a fantasy now and then -- and this one came highly recommended by my friend Sonja at bookwink.com. So when I saw the audiobook brand-new on the shelves, I couldn't resist.

I'm actually not sure how I stayed on the road while listening to this book. I was so caught up in each scenes, picturing every character, imagining their outfits, gestures and looks. Miles went by when I don't remember consciously looking at the road in front me. (Maybe a risk I should think about in the future.)

I loved this story. Seraphina is a sweet girl despite the large burden of secrets she carries around. The book is exquisitely written. And Prince Lucian Kiggs is dreamy; I kept picturing Jon Snow from "Game of Thrones." Actually, every character is vivid and full of life. And each is operating in the shadows of good and evil.

But the MVP goes to the narrator, Justine Eyre. Her voice is lilting with a sweet British/Irish accent and she smoothed over foreign words I would have tripped over on my own. She breathed even more life to this already excellent story.

Grade: Greenlight

'The Evolution of Calpurnia Tate' Audiobook Review

Audiobook: The Evolution of Calpurnia Tate by Jacqueline Kelly
Ready by: Natalie Ross
Genre: YA Lit

Not that I'm always swayed by covers, but this one always caught my eye; the brilliant yellow and black silhouettes. And not that I'm swayed by medals, but it's a 2010 Newbery honor recipient for pete's sake. The story did sound cute and I could use a few hours in hot Texas this week. So, I checked it out of my library.

Bottom line: Not for me.

The imagery was beautiful. My car actually grew a bit hotter with descriptions of a Texas heatwave that sent families inside during the afternoons to nap. And I grew fond of the brisley grandfather and wondered how a turn-of-the-century Mother kept all those kids respectful and in-line.

But the story moved slowly and lazily. Calpurnia took too long to figure things out. And the audio quality felt blurry in my ears. Like it was recorded behind a wool blanket.  After disc 2, it got returned to the library. Maybe Ms. Kelly will write a turn-of-the-century parenting guide next.

Grade: YELLOW LIGHT

'Bringing Up Bebe' Audiobook Review

Bringing Up Bebe

Audiobook: Bringing Up Bebe by Pamela Druckerman
Ready by: Abby Craden
Genre: Memoir

I’ve been curious about the book ever since its release but decided I missed the boat, since my kids were already past toddlerhood. But to satisfy my occasional Francophile itch (my copy of Amalie is MIA) I grabbed the audiobook from the library and popped it in. And I’m happy I did.

My conclusion: Parisian mothers don’t have it all worked out (glad to affirm that we’re all floundering) but they view some parenting concepts in much different ways.

For instance, they embrace day care – mostly because it’s government subsidized and the care givers are practically pediatricians. They often say “the perfect mother doesn’t exist.” And they don’t believe in over-scheduling children but allowing them freedom to discover, or “awaken.” Independent play is hugely important. Their kids sleep through the night at 3 months (mine did too) and are good eaters – though I suspect the latter is due to those excellent day care chefs.

Parisians seemed to have figure out how to stay true to themselves and not fold into the “I am a mother now” trap that I’ve seen some women do. And going back to work is the norm in Paris (though, it IS the most expensive city in Europe). The author gave an example that, at dinner parties, if a stranger knew she had kids, they’d still ask “what do you do?” Where here, it’s always assumed I stay home with the kids. Always.

Lastly, I've always fantasied about raising kids in a different country, so hearing Pamela's experience let me live vicariously. There are plenty ups and downs of Americans raising little Parisians.

Overall, I’m glad I heard this book after a few years of parenting experience, because, pre-kids, I might not have fully understood what was wise and what was plain unrealistic.

I wonder if there’s a raising kids in Spain book, too? 

'Julie & Julia' Audiobook Review

Audiobook: Julie & Julia by Julie Powell
Read By: Julie Powell

So I'm a little late to this party. The Julie & Julia blog had a huge following (one of the first blogs to reach mainstream attention), the book came out in 2005 (a NY Times best seller, hello!) and the movie came out in 2009 (was that Meryl Streep?) that I never saw. So, yes, three years later I'm scanning the options at my local library and picked it up.

It's so not what I expected.

I was expecting Julie to be mousey and quiet -- a quintessential secretary with a passing interest in cooking. In reality, she swears like sailor and drinks like a fish (another gimlet, please). She's depressed, is crazy/dramatic and is a Buffy fangirl. One night, over wine, she jokes about cooking her way through Mastering the Art of French Cooking and her husband takes her seriously. He shows her this new thing called blogging and, much to her surprise, she follows through with it. Managing a year of butter, pork fat, testing the bonds of her marriage and all her other relationships.

I enjoyed that it was Julie's voice narrating the words. It made the memoir more personal. I responded or scolded her. "Julie, don't eat that!" And I cheered when she de-boned a duck. And I was sad, very sad, at the end when (spoiler alert) THE Julia Childs doesn't appreciate all she's going through.

The story rambled, but the challenge of all those recipes and the effect the project on her life was compelling. And hearing a female's voice move flawlessly from pronouncing French foods to dropping dirty f-bombs was entertaining.

Grade: Greenlight  

Gallagher Girls Series Audiobook Review

Audiobooks: Gallagher Girls Series, books 1-5 by Ally Carter
Ready by: Renée Raudman
Genre: YA Lit

I read Heist Society, Ms. Carter's other spy series and really liked it. (Review of second book in that series is coming.) As books, I had always dismissed the Gallagher Girls books because they looked a little too kid-ish for my tastes. But, as audiobooks, there's less of a time commitment, and these books are universally adored, so I picked up the first one.

I was back at the library the next day to check out the rest of the series.

The Gallagher Academy is a top-secret, all-girls spy school and Cammie, the main character, is its headmistress's gawky daughter. The series follows Cammie as she matches her education against real-world dangers, and real boys(!), with her best friends Liz and Becks.

The miracle of this series is that Cammie grows up a lot. I listened to these books consecutively in the span of about a month, so her growth was easy to chart. She goes from naive and silly to wise and capable. This series gets compared to Harry Potter, and this is likely why. The fifth book was far darker than the first.

The narrator, who reads all the books, has worked for the Simpsons and it took me weeks to figure out which voice. And her boy voice is seriously annoying. Also, Carter is repetitive -- like a romance writer. You'll read descriptions on how the girl spies can incapacitate a man 3-times their size with ____ (fill in a cosmetic bag staple). Or how they can speak 17 languages, but can't understand what boys are talking about. But I guess if you listen to 6 books, you're bound to pick up the rhythms.

These books were a hit, and deserving of all the praise they get.

Grade: Green light

And in case you're wondering, those titles are:
GG1:  I’D TELL YOU I LOVE YOU, BUT THEN I’D HAVE TO KILL YOU
GG2:  CROSS MY HEART AND HOPE TO SPY
GG3:  DON’T JUDGE A GIRL BY HER COVER
GG4:  ONLY THE GOOD SPY YOUNG
GG5:  OUT OF SIGHT, OUT OF TIME
GG6: Coming Next Year
source: allycarter.com