Agnes and the Hitman Audiobook Review

Audiobook: Agnes and the Hitman by Jennifer Crusie and Bob Mayer
Read By: Sandra Burr
Genre: Romantic Comedy

Full disclosure: I read romance novels. Another disclosure: I've read this book, twice. But when I saw it on the shelf, and taking into consideration it's summer and I'm looking for something light, I grabbed it.

And I was glad to find the story I liked translated well into audio format, forgiving a few corny production tricks.

This is a cute story about Agnes, a cranky food column writer with anger management issues who gets tangled in a 25-year-old murder mystery and a really crazy ex-mob wife. A nephew of a friend, who is a contract killer, comes by to protect her and get to the bottom of things. Romance, and a pretty high body count, follows.

Because there's a strange combo of Southern drawl and New Jersey mobster in this book, the reader had to be pretty proficient at a bunch of different accents. And she was good. There's some strange talking-into-a-tin-can effect for internal monologe that I found annoying. But, that's easy to get over once you get into the story.

Overall, it was fun to revisit this charming little tale of Agnes and her knight in shining armor.

Grade: Greenlight

Pandemonium Audiobook Review

Audiobook: Pandemonium by Lauren Oliver
Read by: Sarah Drew
Genre: YA Lit, Dystopia

This is the sequel to Delirium, a dystopian novel that supposes the future, fractured U.S.A has deemed love a virus and are curing the population of it. (My Delirium review here.) That takes away choice, freedom and passion. Lena, the main character, is all about this cure until she meets Alex and realizes she can't live like a loveless zombie. So she runs.

I couldn't help wonder what will become of Lena after she crosses into the "wilds," so I picked up the second audiobook. Now, I've got to pick up the third book. Like now.

Usually, the second book in a trilogy is dullsville. It's a bridge from one action book to the epic finish in the third. There's lots of internal development, as the character gets to the place mentally to take on the crazy stuff in the third book. But this second book was actually good!

We get new characters, "Then" and "Now" storytelling that keeps things moving and lots of good action. Even the time Lean spends in a cell isn't boring. It's all built around revolution and movement and Lena figuring things out a few steps too late. Poor dumb Lena.

One thing I couldn't help but wonder -- so the Wilds is a place where people won't be cured of the love virus and are thus free to love openly. So you'd think there would be a lot of couples, relationship and kissing everywhere. There's not. The groups Lena hangs out with are just a bunch of single people cohabiting. Maybe because it's a book for teens or perhaps Lena doesn't find those kinds of camps. Or maybe I'm making too many hippie commune comparisons. Still it strikes me as odd that there's no free love everywhere with the "uncureds."

Regardless, I all but ran to the library to pick up the third. Because the last delivered line "don't listen to her, she lies" killed me.

Grade: Green Light

Eleanor and Park Audiobook Review

Audiobook: Eleanor and Park by Rainbow Rowell
Read by: Rebecca Lowman, Sunil Malhotra
Genre: YA Lit

I've read a few reviews about this book and though it didn't sound like my normal cup of tea, it still seemed enticing. 

Well, I didn't make it past the first disc.

Here's the thing about me: I like to escape into books and if those books turn too dark, it spills into my real life and I get moody. And this book was hinting at some bad things to come, so I returned the audiobook after one disc.

So, I'm sure it's great -- raw and emotional. And great for adults who grew up in the 80s and love nostalgia.  But not for me.

Grade: Red Light

'Austenland' Audiobook Review

Audiobook: Austenland by Shannon Hale
Ready by: Katherine Kellgren
Genre: Chick Lit

While strolling the shelves at the library, this audiobooks was sticking out a little and I remembered I had read they made this into a movie coming out this summer with Felicity, er, Keri Russell -- and that was all it took. Popped it into my bag.

Kinda wished I hadn't.

The idea is super. A women is so completely caught up in Mr. Darcy that no other man will ever stack up. So, her eccentric great-aunt bequeathes her a trip to the English countryside and a manor that recreates the Regency era, as a kind of therapy.

I'm a Darcy-lovin'-gal myself, so I can get into this. And the manor is crawling with actors roll-playing to help "guests" believe they are in "Pride and Prejudice" or "Emma." But poor, pathetic Jane Hayes, cast as Ms. Jane Erstwhile niece to the residents of the Park, has a hard time relaxing into her role. It's all too fake. And it all really is.

I didn't like how this story was told in first person -- all from Jane's limited point of view. All the fakery would be more fun if Hale had shared the story telling honors. Taking turns with the residents and the guests. The minor twist at the end isn't worth sitting through hours of Jane's psychosis. And every few chapters we're interrupted by an study of each of Jane's past, failed romances. And it's jarring and a lazy story telling gimmick.

Lastly, I get annoyed when Brits try to write American, and vise versa. There's these little cultural difference you can't nail. And in this book, I could have sworn the author was British, because of some of the phrasing. She's from Utah. So my annoyance must stem from the narrator who was British and did a crumby American accent. All fake.

I hope they handle the material in a much better way for the Austenland movie. And cut the far-too-drawn-out ending down to size. One can hope!

Grade: Yellow Light

'Delirium' Audiobook Review

Audiobook: Delirium by Lauren Conrad
Read by: Sarah Drew
Genre: YA Lit, Dystopia

So the plot sounds a little fantastical: A future world where love is a horrible virus. When you turn 18, you're given a cure -- a seemingly "gentle" lobotomy that makes you immune to feeling love and all that comes with it -- passion, intense joy, etc. You're paired, married and asked to procreate and "care" for the children you have no capacity to love.

Kinda crazy, right? Love cure? Gimme a break. That's nuts. Why would anyone want to surpress that. Love is all you need, right? I couldn't help investigate. And so glad I did.

The story is about Lena, who is just weeks away from having the cure when she meets Alex and becomes "infected" with the love virus. But she now understands a world without love sucks. She isn't a radical, but she's willing to give up everything to be with Alex in the "Wilds" -- the place outside the city boundaries where the "uncured" might live. Let's just say, it doesn't go well.

Like most great dystopian books, there's a reworking of our current society that makes you question just how crazy this is. Would the government go to lengths to deaden our passions? Hmmm. And there's tons of action that kept me popping that next CD into my car.

Sarah Drew, the narrator, is an actress I remembered from the TV show Everwood. And she's fantastic. She yells and whispers and attempts Alex's low mumbles. I want to call her and chat with her so she can share even the most boring details in her rough yet tender voice. Seriously, call me!

Here's what I didn't like: The entire book is in Lena's head and that gets tiring. Her romance with Alex -- sweet perfect Alex -- is tainted with her confusion and uncertainty. It's like a friend telling you a really good story, but not taking in account any other perspectives, selfishly rambling on and sometimes you just have to turn her off for awhile.

The best part, like most good dystopian, is this book is a trilogy. So, I'll be back at the library next weekend to pick up the next book in the series.

Grade: Green Light

'Anne of Avonlea' Audiobook Review

Audiobook: Anne of Avonlea by Lucy Maude Montgomery
Read by: Shelly Frasier
Genre: Classic

I think it is (or should be) universally acknowledged that if you're feeling stressed or that the world is spinning too fast and you've grown so out of touch with patience or goodness -- the best solution is Anne Shirley. I completely believe in her powers to heal. So it's after an especially hectic week with out-of-control kids and clients that I picked up this audiobook from the library.

And in the end of it, I felt more centered and at ease -- and yearning for the time when we walked to school through the woods and had tea with neighbors.

This is the second book in the Anne series. It centers around the two years she teaches at the Avonlea school. As usual, she gets into jams, scrapes and meets kindred spirits. She's a founding member of the Avonlea improvement society, which is a popular trend among the young folk. And she helps out when Marilla adopts twin 6-year-olds.

There's not much more I can or need to say about this one. If you're a fan, you know what I mean. Just the vacation feeling of going up to Prince Edward Island for a few days, experiencing the rambles and gardens. Hearing the latest gossip from Mrs. Lind. It's like a spa day in book form.

Grade: Green Light

'Eiffel's Tower' Audiobook Review

Audiobook: Eiffel's Tower: And the World's Fair Where Buffalo Bill Beguiled Paris, the Artists Quarreled, and Thomas Edison Became a Count by Jill Jonnes
Read by: Paul Hecht
Genre: Historical Nonfiction

With an upcoming trip to Paris, I was very excited to see this book at the library. Since my last (and first) trip to Paris, I've been collecting little Eiffel Towers trinkets, so learning more about its origins was enticing.

And what a great story! Even though it's a historical account of the 1889 Paris World's Fair and all its principal players, it's written more like a great work fiction.

The ambitious vision of Gustave Eiffel and this enormous undertaking -- to build an iron structure at such a miraculous height -- is inspiring. And he was a pretty decent guy, too. Then you have the story of Buffalo Bill Cody and his troupe of cowboys, Indians, horses, buffalo setting up camp on the outskirts of Paris and dazzling European audiences -- especially star Annie Oakley. Add to it the story of painters Gauguin and Van Gogh looking to make a big splash on the world stage. And Thomas Edison, the toast of the town for his inventions. All so amazing!

My favorite character was American newspaper publisher James Gordon Bennett Jr of the New York Herald. He managed his great New York newspaper and staff from a stylish flat in Paris, mostly by ruling with fear. He was infamous for his erratic behavior, firing reporters for almost no reason and keeping his staff on their toes. He spent large amounts of money on foreign correspondents, created a successful Paris version of the Herald and was often surrounded by a group of tiny dogs. What a character!

This book was chalk-full of interesting anecdotes and stories. And I really got a good sense of what a visitor to the great Paris Exposition fair grounds would have experienced -- including a ride up the famed Eiffel Tower.

The narrator was great, using accents -- French, British and American -- to tell the different point of views, as the story followed chronologically from the planning stages of the Exposition to its final days and years afterwards. 

The best part is I'll have lots of fun stories to bore my husband with as we stroll the Champs de Mars in a few weeks. 

Grade: Green Light